What Do I Have Control Over This Year?
It’s a new year, and another day starts in The Daily Stoic. Today, I’m reminded to differentiate between the things I cannot change and the things I can.
What I love about today’s reflection is taken directly from the book and is a phrase many of us have heard at some point in our life: The Serenity Prayer:
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
– The Daily Stoic, excerpt from January 1st reading (Holiday and Hanselman 9)
Why do I love this? For me, a big part of Dropping Rocks is letting go of things that no longer aid my or my family’s wellness. These rocks are potentially from past events I cannot change, as well as current rocks I have the power to change. Regardless of our individual belief systems, it stands to reason there is some benefit to our human growth and contribution to the world when we can let go of rocks that weigh us down and pick up healthy ones that better serve our life journey. The Daily Stoic also reminds me,
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control.”
-Epictetus, Discourses, 2.5.4-5 (Holiday and Hanselman 9)
I cannot control the number of grey, rainy days in the US Pacific Northwest this winter. What I can control is my nutrition and exercise to power through what feels like endless days of no sun.
I cannot control my kids’ choices as individual humans with their own consciousness, even though it pains me to watch them fumble sometimes. However, I can control how much love and wisdom I have to bring to their table.
Harder ones for me are fluctuating economic tides, the uncertainties of global stability, and the insecurity of inevitable, unexpected life changes. I can control how well I prepare my body, mind, and spirit to handle these uncertainties with as many skills as possible, ethics, and grace.
We Can Collectively Control One Thing
I hope we can collectively examine what we can control and how it impacts others. We all get to decide the words we say and the actions we take every day. May we consider for a moment that we are pieces of that unpredictable, uncontrollable element of someone else’s life? We each profoundly impact the unexpected changes of another’s journey. I hope what I can control makes positive ripples for others to experience this year.
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Holiday, Ryan and Hanselman, Stephen. “January 1st: Control and Choice.” The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living, Portfolio/Penguin An imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, 2016, pg. 9. Go to the Author’s site
2 thoughts on “It’s a New Year”
Well written post. Your method for dealing with adversity with diet and exercise is most sound and easily attainable to those who make the effort. Doing this with dignity and grace does not come easy for many, the anger and resentment is the default setting. It is a daily struggle, nature is always trying to kill us and roving thugs with their violent extortion schemes makes life harder still. And that’s just the government 😀
For many, however, in order to come out with their sanity in this battle, just knowing that there is something larger than themselves is enough but also by knowing that their own personal skirmishes don’t amount to a hill of beans in the end. Proper perspective tends to ameliorate the onus by knowing this too shall pass and that we are not alone, that there is goodness in this world and beyond. Live for eternal mind, keep your spirit high in the skies.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment. This world is a tough place to navigate. There are many fountains to draw from for strength and wellness indeed! Perspective is such an exercise as well. I’m trying to step out to a larger point of view before action as a life principle more and more. I appreciate your contribution and insight to this blog so much.