Why are Amazing Things Just for Someone Else?
Have you ever seen something or someone and daydreamed about what it might be like to be one of those people with the said object or fantastic experience in their life? I have, for sure.
I recently reflected with a friend about how we have both found ourselves walking past a shop we thought had cool clothing or items that instantly caught our eyes, only to keep walking mindlessly. Barely even noticing, we made an instantaneous decision we were not of the caliber to go inside and explore. Automatically processing that such beautiful and exciting things were out of our league.
What has occurred in our lives or our experiences that compel us not to pursue what we really want? It usually comes down to the simplest things, like a particular art style, clothing, hobby, food, or nearly anything. Our assumptions about ourselves betray our true hearts, and we walk on by.
-Literally all of Us“I wish I looked good in that.”
“I wish I knew how to do that.”
“I wish I had the time to do that.”
The common thread is, “I wish.” It’s as if the fantastic thing will always be for someone else. Do we need to be more worthy, more robust, or more intelligent?
The Illusion Started to Crumble
I remember watching my kids try their new skates for the first time. They laughed and fell with reckless abandon. Consequently, I helped them find their balance on wobbly legs, lifted them off the pavement, bodies full of scrapes and bruises, bandaged them up, and sent them on their way, cheering them on. Watching them pick up speed and look so free filled me with envy, and I discovered myself thinking…
“I wish I could skate like when I was a kid.”
-Me
Straightaway that got me thinking, why can’t I skate like when I was a kid? So, I bought a pair of skates, the fabulous black leather pair I had always wanted, started skating again, and was newly empowered.
Why Shouldn’t I?
The wheels of my imagination started to turn like an old, rickety, worn-down water wheel. Cobwebs were torn apart as the water rushed over the old paddles. Creaking back to life, the old dormant imagination started springing to life again.
Why couldn’t I feel the wind in my hair rolling down the street with a badass pair of skates on my feet?
Shouldn’t I read those books I thought were beyond my ability?
Was there still the possibility of a dream that could be pursued? Can I create the things I have imagined?
Am I truly destined to the patterns I was in? Am I capable of doing meaningful work?
What was it that made me think amazing things were not for me? Similarly, like walking past the storefronts, assuming the items inside are for someone else, I also believed these questions were for someone else.
One Question to Rule Them All
One particular question occasionally arises as it bubbles up in the creek of thoughts, attempting to push that wheel to life again. Only to be shoved back down to the bottom.
It has lain dormant with the weight of responsibility, the daily grind, loyalty, and assumptions that the path has already been made.
I recall the first time this question was asked of me and honestly asked, with all the grace, kindness, and sincerity of a genuine seeker of the answer, from a person who sincerely wanted me to find the answer without a demand for self-serving purposes or rhetorical accusations.
In the first serious conversation I ever had with my husband, at the beginning of the beginning, he asked me,
“What do you truly want?”
I had been on guard for many years of this question, like a trap or snare waiting for my truth to step in, then shut around me with accusations of selfishness, arrogance, and betrayal. Some heavy rocks I have carried.
I’d Like to Answer that Question, Please
I would never be the same. It may have been the beginning of my journey to realizing there never has to be just one path.
That was as tough then as it is now. It took me a long time to determine my answer. However, at the end of the answer to that first question, I found him and my kids, and to seek deeper and empower myself.
Then, I found my skates, and a new era began for me.
So, What is the Answer to the Question?
Finding the answer does not require running from your responsibilities or obligations. We have them. People count on us. That’s OK.
What it can mean, though, is that there may be room for the answer in tandem with what we must do. Perhaps the path could be modified to serve our growth better. Drop a few rocks in the process.
I wanted to find real peace from the deep pain and trauma of the past. Hence my mantra of Dropping Rocks. Read more from Why Dropping Rocks?
I wanted to find a niche that fits me. There had to be something where I could use the mishmash of skills I’ve acquired over the last twenty-five. Discovering just what that is has been much more complicated than I anticipated. I’ve tried a few, but none of the skates fit well until now.
Knowledge. What is it I truly wanted to devote my time to learning? What made sense for me and would bring me the life I dreamed of? Taking my web development and programming skills to the next level would be ideal, and if I could be so bold, telling my story. What about wood? Why can’t I be one of those people who create beautiful things from trees? Why shouldn’t I learn to work wood?
Again, I always thought the “items in the window” were so intriguing as I watched others achieve from afar. But why can’t I try on my dreams to see how they fit?
Now, here I am, telling my story, developing my website, and falling in love with creating beautiful things out of wood. It has begun.
Find out more about my journey on my About Me page.
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